The First Five Minutes , livre ebook

Praise for The First Five Minutes
An essential guide to success in the business world. Use this book.
- Kenneth Daly
Midatlantic Partner in Charge
KPMG Peat Marwick LLP, Financial Services
With this incomparable guide, your first five minutes can be your best five minutes.
- Sheila Cluff
President, The Oaks at Ojai/The Palms at Palm Springs
Health and Fitness Destination Spas
This is a genuine, down-to-earth primer on how to act and look your best in business and social situations. Mary Mitchell gives you guidelines to being more successful at the office and in your personal life.
- Dan Edelman
Founder, Edelman Public Relations Worldwide
Why be anything less than your best? Mary Mitchell shows you how. Invest in this book to make a great first impression.
-Jack P. Ferguson
Senior Vice President, Sales
Promus Hotel Corporation
When you re in the business of doing things right, you learn to respect the work of experts such as Mary Mitchell.
-John K. Hunter
President, JE. Caldwell Co.
I always find the advice Mary Mitchell gives to be practical. Her approach and style will always be invaluable for making a great first impression!
- Edward F. Westlake, Jr.
Vice President, Westlake Plastics Company
You only get one chance to make a first impression; Mary Mitchell gives you the blueprint for making good ones.
- Robert G. Rankin
Regional Manager - Training, Ryerson
Are first impressions important? You bet they are. Mary Mitchell s sensible and savvy advice ensures that you ll make a great one every time.
- Deborah Scerbo
Assistant Vice President,
American Re-Insurance Company
The First Five Minutes
Other books by Mary Mitchell:
Dear Ms. Demeanor: The Young Person s Etiquette Guide to Handling Any Social Situation With Confidence and Grace
The Complete Idiot s Guide to Etiquette
The First Five Minutes

How to Make a Great First Impression in Any Business Situation
Mary Mitchell with John Corr

John Wiley Sons, Inc.
New York Chichester Weinheim Brisbane Singapore Toronto
This text is printed on acid-free paper.
Copyright 1998 by Mary Mitchell. All rights reserved.
Published by John Wiley Sons, Inc.
Published simultaneously in Canada.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning or otherwise, except as permitted under Sections 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the Publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per-copy fee to the Copyright Clearance Center, 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, (978) 750-8400, fax (978) 750-4744. Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley Sons, Inc., 605 Third Avenue, New York, NY 10158-0012, (212) 850-6011, fax (212) 850-6008, E-Mail: PERMREQ@WILEY.COM.
This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering professional services. If legal, accounting, medical, psychological, or any other expert assistance is required, the services of a competent professional person should be sought.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Mitchell, Mary
The first five minutes : how to make a great first impression in any business situation / Mary Mitchell with John Corr.
p. cm.
Includes index.
ISBN 0-471-18478-0 (pbk. : alk. paper)
1. Career development. 2. Social interaction. 3. Self-presentation. 4. Success in business. I. Corr, John, 1934-II. Title.
HF5381.M58 1998
650.1-dc21
97-37395
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2
For my mom
Preface
Acknowledgments
Introduction
Chapter 1 First Impressions
Danger and Opportunity
One Good and One Bad Encounter
Chapter 2 Communication Styles
Minding the Body
Sound Techniques
Tuning In to Personality Types
Looking at Learning Styles
He Said, She Said
Chapter 3 Tried-and-True Greeting Strategies
Basic Training
Whole Lotta Shakin
Introductions: The Rules
Business/Social Functions
Names and Titles
Business Cards
Your Greeting Style
Chapter 4 Clothing and Accessories
There Is No Such Thing as Neutral Clothing
Dressing for the Situation
The Code
Business and Social Functions
Speaking of Clothing
Assembling a Wardrobe
An Action Plan
Don t Break the Bank
SUITable
Accessories
Chapter 5 Good Grooming
Make Up for It
Hair: Crown or Frown
On the Face of It
Your Nails
Your Skin
Looking Great
Chapter 6 The Job Interview
Is She Ready?
Self-Research
The Encounter
Shifting Gears
Answering Questions
Screening Interviews
The Final Interview
Chapter 7 The Business Meeting
Showing Up Ready to Go
Watching Your Body Language
Speaking Up for Yourself
The Chair
Style and Structure
Outside Directorships
Chapter 8 Office Tactics
Being an Unbossy Boss
Peer Points
Superior Treatment
Hosting Visitors
When You re the Visitor
Going Up in Smoke
Don t Dally with Doors
Elevator Letdowns
Presents Presence
Chapter 9 Conversation Is Not Small Talk
Nothing Small About It
Listen Here
Golden Cliches
True Confessions
What You Don t Say
Lighten Up
Breaking Away
Chapter 10 Secrets of the Public Speakers
The Four Questions
The Big Beginning
Some Basics
The Big Closing
Chapter 11 Correspondence
A Matter of Style
Structuring Your Letter
Grammar
Types of Letters
Casual Notes
Stationery
Monograms
A Coat of Arms
Chapter 12 Electronic Etiquette
The Ubiquitous Phone
Voice Mail
Speaker Phone
Just the Fax, Please
Netiquette
Netwits
Bandwidth Bandits
Tips
Chapter 13 Compliments, Criticism, and Conflict
Compliments
Criticism
Handling Conflict Effectively
Bad News Situations
Chapter 14 Dining for Dollars
Tabletop Encounters
Common Errors
Handling Food Calamities
American Style vs. Continental Style
The Business Meal
Eating on the Job
The Banquet
The Buffet
Chapter 15 A World of Diversity
Different Folks
Dumping Stereotypes
Making a Gesture
Spaced Out
Dining Diversity
Doing Business
Problems with Gifts
High Context, Low Context
Chapter 16 The Disabled in the Workplace
Overcoming Awkwardness
The Three Rs
Some Helpful Tips
Regular Conversation
Wheelchair Etiquette
Relations with the Visually Impaired
Relations with Those with Hearing Loss
Relations with Those with Speech Impairment
Developmental Disabilities
Difficult Adjustments
Index
Preface
First impressions often are as shallow as rain water on a leaky roof.
Yet they are about as permanent as concrete, and if you re like most people, it would take at least a crowbar or an act of God to change them.
Is this fair? Certainly not. Perceptions are neither fair nor unfair. They are simply perceptions and they exist. They are important. They can make or break a budding relationship. And although we live in an age of technology, we cannot afford to forget that our relationships form the foundation of our work life.
The fact is that receiving a first impression is an uncomplicated experience. On the other hand, giving a first impression, a positive first impression, can be anything but. It s fair to say that awareness is the key, and that s why I wrote this book.
The overall impression I received from the people I worked with in my corporate training was that we present ourselves in business with altogether too little fore-thought and preparation. Chiefly, individuals only consider face-to-face meetings when they think about first impressions. That limited view cheats us of some invaluable information.
We all have the right to present ourselves as best we can. We all have the right to the best job and best work for which we re qualified.
This book is my best effort to provide significant help along the way.
Acknowledgments
Writing a book while your mother is dying is an almost impossible task.
If it were not for the considerable assistance of my colleague and friend John Corr, this book would not exist. Perhaps his finest contribution was never letting me settle for less than my best work. Marjorie Matthews Corr, his wife and also my friend, graciously became our unofficial editor. I am grateful and proud to share my life and work with them.
Nor would this book exist without Nancy Love, my agent, and PJ Dempsey, former Wiley editor, who together came up with the idea for it in the first place. Judith McCarthy at Wiley shepherded it through to conclusion with care and insight.
John Hunter, president of J.E. Caldwell Company in Philadelphia, generously provided his company s splendid resources in the persons of Janet Weiss, manager of Caldwell s remarkable stationery department, and her aide de camp Sarah Packer. They willingly shared their extraordinary depth of knowledge as well as provided all the examples in this book.
Letitia Baldrige s work and career have been the most profound influence on my own. She believes, as I do, that warmth and kindness are the soul of etiquette. Having her as friend and mentor is a great blessing.
Because this book is largely based on the corporate training that is the cornerstone of my work, while functioning as teacher, I have learned much from my clients. Thea Lammers brought a sense of creative, practical excellence that characterized those programs.
The Reverends John and Betsy Salunek helped keep me close to God when my faith was indeed challenged.
Each and every day, Dan Fleischmann, my best friend who happens to be my husband, inspires me to be the finest person I can be. Throughout the sad and painful time when this book was in progress, his mere presence constantly reminded me what a privilege it is to give of one s time and talent. He made me laugh, see things differently, and remain